I "Liked It" Fun Size: About as exciting as mac and cheese

Fun Size wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I rather enjoy the whole Party-of-the-Year sub-genre in movies. It’s not gonna be good, +1 is definitely the exception to the rule, but you make so many movies of a certain type you’re bound to eventually get one that has hints of originality. This one has nothing original about it, and to be fair, this movie is not for me. It’s not made with my interests in mind, it’s not made with any adult’s interest in mind at all, this is a kid’s movie. A teen movie. So why watch it, knowing that it ain’t for me? Well because of the whole party of the year thing. There isn’t a single party of the year movie that is for me, at least not yet, but wouldn’t it be great if there was. A grown up version of some party of the year, but not stupid (of course) but really good. Hell, even if it was bad, I’d watch it.

            Still, this movie wasn’t that bad, but it came close, and then the young guy who works at the gas station showed up. His character was funny and seemed genuine and wasn’t annoying. The movie did not use him as well as they should have though, and I don’t mean make the whole movie about him, but his story was so vague that what details we did know about his mission and drive was promising but in the end held no punch.

            Instead we followed the nerd who by the end had changed and blah blah blah.

            I think what bothers me most about movies like this is when there are moments that could be better than average, like with the gas station guy, or the other sub-plot of the little boy who doesn’t / can’t talk because of his father’s death. Stuff like that, things that could actually add depth and personality to the people, and it’s all brushed over for the tired story of young love between nerd and cute girl. Then, to take a tired plot like the kids in love and just add it to the pile of other movies exactly the same is such an offense to the audience – if the audience is me, or any other adult person.

             That’s all I got on this one.

I "Really Liked It" Haunter: A good starter horror movie for teens looking for something original

My wife and I watched Haunter, and it was a pretty average movie with a somewhat original idea. Anyone that has seen the movie The Others, pretty much knows this movie, but whereas The Others goes for a more adult story, this one is set up perfectly for teenagers.

            Haunter is a good movie that almost feels like a longer episode of Medium or something along those lines. My wife loved Medium and I saw a few episodes but it was never really my thing.

            The pacing of Haunter is good and the creepyness is well done, and even though we knew almost exactly what was going to happen throughout the movie, there were brief moments that threw little curve balls that were never enough to shake the whole movie up, but were enough to make us comment how that thing was original, or how they did that thing was cool. We kept watching it because of those moments. This movie very easily could have put me to sleep but the moments that shined through the rest of the movie were enough to keep me interested  . . . and awake.

            Though I haven’t seen or read many teen movies, or movies based on popular teen books, I’m guessing that this movie would appeal to those who enjoy movies like that. The teen daughter is quick to catch everything that is wrong and her dumb parents are not, in fact that almost persecute her for trying to point things out that would involve the parents listening to her and believing in her.

            This movie is – like the teen books – a good starter for a teen to watch and see that a movie does not have to be about the usual monsters, and if it involves ghosts it does not have to show them or their situation in the usual way. This movie gives a younger audience a fresh look on the haunted house scenario and would hopefully send them away with the idea that doing something different with something that is well known is a good thing. It can be a miss, and more often than not it is, but there are times when the chance taken works out, but whether it works out or not, the chance taken is always better than the chance not taken.

            There were two things that made me like this movie. The first was the first girl’s dad, he did a great job here, and was the main reason I kept watching because his change from good father to pretty horrible and creepy as hell father was great. The whole set up when he changes, from the little boy waking his sister up by telling her that he’s hiding and then she hears the fighting going on, it was then – it was moments like that – that my wife and I did not know what was going to happen, nor did we know yet what exactly was happening to him. It was a great scene that was well done by everyone in the movie, as well as those who directed it and set it up.

            The other thing that saved this movie was Stephen McHattie. That guy is great in everything that he does, and here is no exception. I have been a fan of this guy since I saw Pontypool and am always on the lookout for anything that he is in. Know what, parents, need some alone time? Have teens? Put Haunter on for them in one room and then you guys watch Pontypool in the other. My Valentines Day present to you.

I "Liked It" Dead Snow: It only took me 3 or 4 tries to get through it too.

It took me a few tries to get through Dead Snow. The way the characters talk was for me the hardest part to get over. The writing was not good. The conversations between the people at the beginning was really forced, so much so that I turned the movie off and didn’t go back to it for weeks. It wasn’t until I re-watched the preview for the movie and saw the scenes when the Nazi zombies arrive that it made me think that maybe it was worth struggling through the horrible writing at the beginning to get to the zombies.

            I’m not entirely sure it was worth it. It certainly gets better when the zombies arrive, but seriously the beginning is so bad that the rest of the movie is not good enough to shake it off.

            First of all, the overweight movie geek does not get the hot girl. Nazi zombies I can get, cutting off one’s arm and then cauterizing it in a fire? Okay. The hot girl climbing on top of the geek after he just went poop in the outhouse, while still sitting in the outhouse? Nope, you lost me, big time. Did my 16 year old self write this movie, because that’s the only sort of person who would write such an unbelievable scene, am I right?

            I stopped watching the movie and watched the trailer again to remind myself why I was watching this movie. It helped, but I had to continue it another night.

            Before the impossible happens in the outhouse, though, one of the guys “playfully” suffocates his girlfriend for a few seconds! It was just a joke, though, so it’s okay, and he apologizes but she’s still mad, but she gets over it (and then in the end he “accidentally” puts a hatchet in her neck and kills her, maybe it was genius foreshadowing? Doubt it.).

            I know I keep coming back to the talking, but seriously, at the beginning they are all walking to the cabin and the movie geek just randomly asks for movies that start with what they are doing. They all start naming horror movies and I just hated this scene, it was so dumb – sorry but there’s no better way to describe it. It was unoriginal and forced, and had they come up with other movies than the usual popular go-to movies it would have been different, but Evil Dead (which they reference way too many times) and then a few other movies but the whole Evil Dead thing was too much. I love Evil Dead, I get that it’s a great horror movie and was filmed with great style, but there are so many other great horror movies too – new and old – that should be getting some love (can’t think of any right now, but I’m sure they’re there, right? ).

            I realize one doesn’t really see Dead Snow for originality but you could tell they were going for something along those lines with the tongue in cheek references and the fact that the characters were aware of how insane the situation is. Had it been played straight it maybe would have been more entertaining and probably by today’s standards that would have been original. The whole “isn’t this crazy what we’re doing, it’s just like a movie” thing is pretty old at this point, and going back to the original would be a surprise.

            Another reason I watched this was because I saw that it has a sequel coming out, and again, as much as I just barely liked this movie, the trailer for the second movie has me wanting to see it like the trailer for the first one did. Hopefully the second one isn’t as bad as the first, and it looks like it may be a bit better, the jokes and gags look funny in the trailer, and the action looks good so here’s hoping.

            All that being said, this horror movie has no nudity, which I bring up only because it’s a horror movie and they usually have nudity (even Evil Dead had nudity), and there was one scene that I laughed out loud at, it’s what happens just after the guy cuts off his own arm. It was pretty good, yet still predictable, which sums up the movie as a whole.

Star Wars The Clone Wars Streaming on Netflix in March

March 7th the final season of Star Wars TheClone Wars will premier on Netflix. It looks like the entire show as well as the feature movie will also arrive on Netflix at the same time as well. I never watched the show but heard a lot of good things about it, and now my kids and I can check the whole series out. 

I "Really Liked It" The Hunt: And I can't say much more. See it, and then we can discuss.

I went through all sorts of ups and downs watching The Hunt; nominated for an Academy Award for Best Foreign Language film in 2014, the film of a man accused of molesting a child is pure character study. You watch a man be accused of something that you are pretty much shown he did not do, and then you watch as he has his life destroyed by the accusations (Fun!).

            It is difficult to talk about this movie and not  talk about the ending. Most of my reviews don’t involve much of the plot by way of spoilers (I hate that word now, thanks to Dr. Who, but I can’t think of a good replacement. Suggestions are welcome), and this will be no different, however if this review seems a bit more shitty than usual it is because of my aversion to discussing the ending – or even anything that may hint towards it – and not the usual reason of my own personal and usual suckiness.

            I will say only that for me, no matter how bad a movie is, if the ending is good I will generally like it. Don’t try to understand it, just go with it.

            So the ending of this movie was good, but there were two points before the ending, both just a few minutes before the real ending, that had the movie ended there it would have been so very much better, and  probably would have been bumped up to “Loved It”. As it is, the actual ending is good, but the actual ending is much like the whole movie, leaves me feeling . . . well, disoriented I guess.

            The main problem I had with the movie was the accusation, and how it was initially received. A lady says flat out that she believes children can’t lie. Can’t, or don’t, I can’t recall exactly, and there is a difference I agree, but the basis is still there that this lady will believe whatever this child says.

            Then, later on when the child can not repeat what is first told the lady, and in fact says it doesn’t remember anything about the event or speaking about it, the adults believe this is due to the fact that the mind won’t let it remember anything so horrible.

            Maybe I am completely ignorant and am showing it by saying this, but I found it hard to believe that this one kid’s word – which, again, is shaky at best, and the details come from agreeing with the adults’ questions about things – could be accepted as truth by so many so quickly.

            Now I’m not saying that were my daughter to suddenly say that my best friend (I don’t have any friends by choice but for the sake of argument let’s assume that I like people and I have a friend) had shown her his penis I would have to think it through. I don’t believe I would follow the path that is taken in this movie. Again, I have no freaking idea what I would do, and such things are horrible to deal with, whether true or not, and I wouldn’t wish any of it on my worst enemy (which, I feel like I have a lot of enemies, but no friends, maybe I should examine some things in my life . . .  Nope, all good.), but with that being said, still, I did not find how things started for this guy believable.

            Now, at some point, and I know it was around the time that his son arrives, I started to really buy into the craziness of this movie. More kids come forward, and the parents that were his friends just a short while ago, are now monsters treating him . . . well, horribly. It’s at this point that I started to feel his frustration and disbelief that it was all truly happening.

            It gets violent a few times and it gets to the point where I was almost screaming at the TV for the guy to fight back or just leave. Seriously, why stay around? I told my wife about the movie – she didn’t wanna watch it, and she said that maybe he actually did it. This blew my freaking mind. It never occurred to me that maybe he did.

            There is one scene towards the end, with what looks like the whole town – at least everyone involved in the story – hanging out and celebrating something and it is done in such an amazingly creepy way that it gave me chills. That scene alone is worth watching this whole movie, trust me, and is also one of the places where I think had it ended it would have been awesome.

            The movie sets up this impossible scenario in which no one will be leaving unscarred, and it is difficult to end a movie like that, do you betray it all with a forced resolution, or stick to what you’ve started and end it . . . well, the way they ended it? There’s really no other way to go if they wanted the movie to be good and true, they ended it just as it should have ended (except for where I would have ended it).

Forbidden Love Review Part One: A work in progress

This is what forbidden love looked
like in 1982

My wife and I watched ten minutes of a movie once, spread out through several nights. It was a bad movie, and for that reason it was entertaining. The second movie like that we intended to watch like that was Someone I Touched, except that we ended up watching that entire movie. This time we chose Forbidden Love, and we ended up watching almost an hour of it. For whatever reason we stopped to watch more another night, so for now – my report:

            Obviously this will not have the punch that Someone I Touched did, though it does carry a message of some importance. The older woman with the younger man; a May-December romance!

            I’m not sure what was going on in the world in the early 80’s that they needed to make a TV movie about such things, but they did, and it’s not taken lightly. I mean, this is as serious as serious can be, there’s the painful moment when the young doctor must decide if he really wants to move in with the amazingly rich and attractive older woman (did he really need to think about it?), or the other painful moment when the younger guy’s friends ask him and his older girlfriend if they both want to go bowling – as if! Sorry guy who eventually marries one of the Brady girls, and other guy who later plays a cop/acting coach in Reservoir Dogs, but your good friend is too good for you now.

            Yes, you read me right, one of the husbands of the Brady girls is in this and he steals the show. Not because of anything other than the fact that I knew I knew him from somewhere but couldn’t place it, and it bugged me until I figured it out (okay I looked it up).

            Highlights: The show starts with the guy in a bar and he is bound and determined to get to a bowl of dip, stuff, I think (seriously, it looked gross). The older woman moves the bowl and he dunks his hand into it, much to the delight of half the bar – who couldn’t see him a second ago trying to reach for the bowl, but now they all laugh and he laughs and you know deep down he wants to slap that bitch – and I think he might when he follows her to the bathroom. He chickens out on his plan for revenge murder and doesn’t see her again until the slopes.

            Dude wants hook up with her, bad, like real bad, and you can’t blame him. She’s a good looking lady, I’m not gonna lie (because you’re not my wife asking me if I thought she was good looking). Yvette Mimieux is the name of the actress, and she is very pretty, and I didn’t recognize her but I looked her up anyway (I needed something to do during the movie) and I found that she was in The Black Hole and The Time Machine, and I really think I remember her from The Black Hole. I remember that movie, that’s for sure, it’s one of what I call the Classic Dark Disney Movies, and I’m pretty sure I remember Yvette. Either by today’s standards or 80’s standards, in the movies, she is still pretty.

            They eventually go out to dinner and when she asks him to stop calling her Ms. Whatever, and instead to call her by her first name, you can see he totally “completes” in his pants right then, and even being a doctor he’s disturbed by what has happened. He begins to cry and then promptly falls asleep – all of this happening at the restaurant (this part my wife and I may have made up).

            Another highlight is – apparently while playing a game of chess – the older woman falls completely and madly in love with the guy’s arm and drags her fingers up and down his forearm, and all the while he’s looking at her like she’s gotta be the weirdest bitch in the world, only to “complete” again, and she takes that moment to move one of the chess pieces. I couldn’t see the whole board but was pretty sure she won (the part about making out during chess is real, the part about her winning is not).

            Also, every time they kiss his lips stick out like the Audrey II plant in Little Shop of Horrors (regardless of my wife’s argument, this part is real). Made me not like the guy.

            The last thing we saw was the phone call from the parents cleverly hiding the fact that they were making a trek to visit their son. I haven’t seen that part yet but I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say it don’t go well.

            To Be Continued. . . (click here for Part Two)

I "Really Liked It" Full Tilt Boogie: Has it really been 18 years since From Dusk Til Dawn?

I can’t remember how long ago it was that I last saw From Dusk 'Til Dawn, but after watching Full-Tilt Boogie I found myself wanting to see the movie again. It has been too long since I’ve seen From Dusk 'Til Dawn, and to me the highlights of this documentary are the clips of the movie. Every time they play a clip of the movie I couldn’t help but smile with memories of seeing this movie in the theatre and thinking I knew what I was getting myself into and then realizing that I had no idea at all.

            Full-Tilt Boogie is also good at showing what life is like while making a movie, and not just for the actors or the director or producers, but for the real workers as well. Actually, the documentary follows more of the people behind the scenes than it does the big names in the movie.

            The documentary does a good job of balancing between the people before the camera and those behind. Come to this documentary for George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, and Robert Rodriguez, but stay for the lives of the people who build the sets, run errands, and serve the food. There will be romance, tension, and hilarity!

            Those who spend their time on camera talking about the horrible hours they’re working, or just got done working, as well as the temperature they were working in, and the poor food, still give the impression that they are loving every minute of it.

            When this movie came out I was working in a warehouse with no AC, and summers in Kansas can get not only hot but humid, so it sucked bad, but it was fun because of the guys I worked with. The same guys that went to this movie with me and who had even less knowledge about the movie than I did, but loved the whole thing. It is definitely the people you work with that make work bearable or not. It’s a marriage of sorts, I mean, you’re with these people probably more than you are with your family, and if you don’t get along with them then going to work is nothing short of a chore instead of a joy.

            Those guys that I used to work with are no longer around, and now I work in an office and it just isn’t the same. I think maybe if you work in kind of a miserable situation – like the warehouse – with other people who are suffering with you, it helps everyone look at it in a way that helps everyone get through it. In the office things ain’t so bad, not as bad as the warehouse, so the good feelings that we had in the warehouse just aren’t there.

            I say all this because watching the people behind the scenes working on this movie, complain about it all but still seem happy, I can relate and honestly kind of envy them.

            I’ve never worked on a movie but I get the impression that this documentary does a good job of showing what it’s like. My wife and I talked about it while we watched it; we commented on how much of a weirdo Quentin Tarantino is, how horny the girls working on the movie appeared to be, and how much working on a movie would probably suck. We talked, and lost track of when the movie switched from the making of From Dusk 'Til Dawn to something about people wanting to get the crew on the movie under a union? It was interesting, and showed something that my wife and I never thought much about, and after seeing it we realized that we didn’t really care much. We could see both sides, and then the movie just kind of dropped the union thing anyway when nothing really came of it. It could have been taken out of the documentary without any big loss.

            The documentary was rather long, and with the edit of the union story it would probably have been a perfect length.

            I was pleasantly surprised by Full-Tilt Boogie, more than just a movie about the making of From Dusk 'Til Dawn, it’s a movie about the people who made not just this movie but all of them.