Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Netflix Streaming: I "Hated It" Passion: I know I haven't made a movie, so I can't criticize, but this movie sucked.

Passion (2012) PosterWhat the hell happened to this movie? What the hell happened to Brian DePalma? Maybe nothing, and it’s me, it’s my wife too. Maybe we both got bonked on the head – hard – and now we’re unable to make any sense from a Brian DePalma movie. I mean, Jesus Christ, David Lynch movies are all crystal clear from start to finish compared to the last few minutes of this movie. The ending of this movie wasn’t just bad, it made no sense what-so-ever, and that’s not my opinion – that’s a fact!

            I know that no one can understand the ending of this movie, it is impossible. It’s not as simple as a character does something that they wouldn’t normally do . . . or anything like that. No, it doesn’t make sense because all of a sudden a new character shows up (or does she . . . ?), phones start ringing for no reason, and I could go on but why bother? None of it is explained, it just ends – or at least our streaming version of the movie ended there.

            Is it possible that we got a bad copy of the movie streamed to our house?

            No, it’s not; I know that, but seriously, what the fuck? It’s like DePalma felt that he had three or maybe four really cool endings, and he couldn’t choose which one he liked the most so he just said: “Fuck it, let’s use ‘em all!” And then what he did was he literally ate all the endings and then threw them up and edited the vomit together and said: “That’s the ending,” and then added quietly: “I don’t think I should make any more movies.” (I can only hope he actually said that last part.)

            This is not the movie the actresses signed up to be in, I believe it so much that I know it for a fact, they would not have been in this movie had this ending / these endings been in the script. Of course that is assuming that they were okay with the rest of the movie, and I find it difficult to believe that any rational person was okay with the any part of this movie, so I would say that DePalma’s name carries with it a certain amount of weight that manages to get movies made no matter the script as a whole. If that is true, someone needs to remedy that quickly before he makes another movie and humiliates the human race any further.

            There is just so much wrong with this movie. The acting is even bad, and the actresses in this movie are amazing at what they do. I mean Rachel McAdams was even great in Red Eye, and Noomi Rapace? I mean seriously, she’s one of the best actresses today, but in this movie they are horrible. I place the blame entirely in the sort of script they are working with, and the director who is directing them who also wrote the script.

            I think I may hate Brian DePalma after watching this movie.

            The movie pushes the lesbian attraction more than is necessary. Less is more DePalma, less is more, unless you’re wanting like a Basic Instinct type of movie – which at times he seems to be leaning towards, with a drawer of sex toys and the longing looks between girls, but none of it is given a point. Like, is it there just so that the movie can have some kissing and sell tickets to see that, because if so there’s hardly any kissing and when there is it is not sexy and just not worth it; or was it all to play mind games with the characters and us as well, if so that failed miserably because none of it had a point that helped the story either at that moment or for the ending or any big reveal.

            I watched the original version of this movie (click here for the review of Love Crime), so I was comparing them while watching this one and that was very jarring because I didn’t even realize the subtle development of the characters until they were removed from the American version. The biggest thing that was missing was the set up around the middle of the movie, the plan being put into place and everything that kept you guessing and wondering was removed for a very quick set up that just did not work. The plan requires a long set up, and with it shortened but the plan kept the same, it just did not work. The ending of the original, though I did not like, was not even remotely as much of a disgrace as this one was.

            My wife hadn’t seen the original movie, Love Crime, and she said she didn’t like Passion even before the ending, but the girl’s plan did keep her guessing, and for awhile there she was slightly interested in what was going on. She said the ending of the movie ruined anything slightly good about the movie.

            I wanted to really like this movie. I would have been happy with just liking it. When DePalma makes a good movie, it’s pretty freaking good, and the girls in this movie are great actresses. Everything about this movie says that it should be good, but it is not. I wanted to proudly write that as dumb as the American version of Love Crime was, I really enjoyed it, but I cannot.

            As dumb as Passion is, I really truly and absolutely hated it, and for the first time ever, I hate someone I have never met.

            Way to go DePalma, I hope you’re happy with yourself.

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